#3rd pregnancy but miscarriage

I knew that I would be given long MC after that appointment. Should the sac not out before the appointment, D&C would be performed. I managed to pass over work and passed up the reports before the weekend so that I could have the MC with peace of mind.

My PV bleed was getting more and I also felt that muscle pulling, but no cramp. On 5th Feb, after having dinner, we went to Tesco to get some staff to prepare for confinement later. Suddenly I felt that my pant was wet. I knew the bleed was getting alot more. Quickly I rushed my husband to pay up and rushed back home. Lots of bleeding indeed plus big clots.

After changing pad and pants. I planned to observe if the pad was soaked for another hour which was the sign to go to hospital. I still didn't have any painful contraction as described by my colleague who had similar experience. I just had one sudden brief pain and then all discomfort relieve. As I stood up and walked, I could feel something , as I checked, a whitish tissue was passed out. Quickly I put it into a container and went to hospital.

After scan was done, doctor said the miscarriage was complete and no need D&C required. Then an injection was given in order to stop bleeding. I was supposed to be able to go home immediately, however, suddenly I sensed tightness at my both ears and kept coughing. I was so concerned that I would experience severe allergic reaction. Thank God that it was just temporary.

By the time I got to home, it was already 1 am. I was very tired and lethargic and I could feel contraction at my tummy (uterus). But I couldn't sleep till much later.

As much as I wished for the pregnancy to be able to sustained instead, I felt relieved now as the past one month was quite torturing to my mind and body. In a way, it was easy for me to cope with the loss, as I already got the news of possible miscarriage on the same day I found myself pregnant. Then there was one month time for me to settle my emotion. In addition, all the while the sac was empty and never we saw the presence of fetus.
 Now it was considered as over and I could move on with life.

Another 2 weeks had past. My emotion roller coaster had gone from worrying, uncertain to calm. My nausea, bloatness and fluctuating appetite was gone too. Another appointment. Again, empty irregular shape sac. When I saw the measurement of the sac has the diameter of 22mm, I already knew what would be doctor's comment. Still no fetus, still no heart beat. One week ago, I seek a specialist opinion, and taken Proluton jab, also had beta Hcg taken. Apart from that I didn't know what else could I do to 'keep' the baby. However, when I saw that the Hcg level only increased by 3 times compared to the level 3 weeks ago, I was almost certain what would be coming.

However, no matter how prepared I was, when the technician announced blighted ovum and when doctor advice me of D&C, I couldn't help but cry. I just couldn't agree to doctor suggestion of getting D&C on the same day. I asked for more time to think about it. Hence another appointment was scheddules one week later. Then I just hope for it to happen naturally and completely without the need of surgical intervention

#3rd pregnancy but miscarriage

Eversince the dianosis of threatened miscarriage, the next 2 weeks were like forever to me. I did feel my tummy is 'empty', only the symptoms of hungry and stomach bloatness that was convincing me that I was still pregnant.

Finally the day of appointment came. Went for scan. As much I was hopefully to hear baby heartbeat, what was found on the screen was the same as 2 weeks ago, empty with yolk sac only. In addition, the shape of the sac was irregular. Although I don't have any PV bleed anymore, according to the tone and way of speech of the the doctor, she seemed to imply that my pregnancy likely wont be successful.

The next day, we flied to hometown for chinese new year. However, it was not an happy celebration anymore. There was always something holding my smile. To make thing worse, my parents in law knew that I was pregnant already and my brother in law's wife also already 4 months pregnant. I was kept asked the due date, the only answer I could give was 'don't know, need to check somemore to confirm'. In the mean time, I was also in worrying state that any emergency event was up during this period of time as My PV bleed was back. I could only pray that it won't happen till I was back from hometown

#3rd pregnancy but miscarriage 1

I always thought I want to blog only about happy moments. However, since last year I was striked but unhappy or challenging events almost every month.
Right stepping into year 2012, on 2nd Jan, I got a real bad allergic reaction, with rash all over body. Despite antihistamines, the flare kept coming back and worsen. I needed to be admitted to emergency observation ward when I had hoarse voice ( which was a sign of angiooedema and life threatening allergic reaction). On the same day, I found myself pregnant. However, within 24hours, also I experienced bad cramp and vaginal bleed and got the diagnosis of threatened miscarriage.

Breastfeeding complication Nipple Infection

I wanted to feed HX till 23 months , like what I did for HE. However, I had to stop much earlier at 19th month due to complication. I never expected that I developed nipple infection at the late stage of breastfeeding journey. For the past one month, I had on and off sore, then cracked nipple. It was painful as it happened on both side, but resolved when I apply saline rinse and vaseline. However, it recurred, then resolved when I applied fusidin cream.
Suddenly, it cracked again, but the wound looked different, with some sloughs and with oozing. At the same time, HX was coughing and her mouth had really bad smell. I applied the fusidin cream consistently, hoping that it would heal. Only left side was affecteed, hence I only fed HX the right side. However, as I noticed that there was one tiny pustule on my right too, and my left was inflammed and pain till I cried, I needed to see Dr Koe. I started with oral antibiotic too. As Dr Koe concerned that HX might have passed on the bacteria to me, she had to start oral antibiotic too.
Then I got to ask for babysitter help to take care of HX for overnight for a week.
I seeked a nurse help, and she helped to clean my wound and apply dressing. However, as I was still lactating, I got to take out twice a day, to empty the breast, and it was truely painful, Above was the picture of the dressing I took out, could tell how bad my left breast was. It basically affected the whole area of arveola. It seemed different from mastitis and more superficial skin infection, but a real bad one.
How about HX? After 5 days, I tried to bring her back to home at night. First night of not breastfeeding was difficult. However, it only took her one night. Next day onwards, she never asked for nen nen...sch adorable girl. Need to tell details in next post.

In memory of my father_2

           Next day, the maid came to take over my brother to take care of my father. I was glad that she was around, and more glad that she was someone that my father trust and rely on, which hardly happening in my father life, in addition, she was also someone who could bear all the scoldings. Later I saw the blood investigation and found his renal profile was deranged. Furthermore, the doctor-in charged also told me that it was stranged that the previous private hospital did all the tests but a proper blood test. I felt sad hearing that, if I were there with him, possibly I could stop all the unnecessary tests that could even strained his body further. Later, to confirm diagnosis, my father need to go through bone marrow aspirate which could be painful as it involved spine. However, my father could go through it without much whining. Later at night, nurses also had to put ryle's tube to start feeding, again, my father cooperates very well. For first time after many many years, I hold his hands and kept encouraging for swallowing the ryle's tube so that it could get to the stomach. At this moment, with the strong will to live, my father did impress me, that he was a brave man. If it were me, possibly I would be whining here and there.
His stomach was really bloated, however, no one, not even doctor was able to find the real cause and treatment, although my father keep complaint of stomach pain. It was also not the typical symtoms of AML.

In memory of My father

           Never it occured to me that I need to face the faith testing this way. As I mentioned that the value that I lost seem getting bigger and bigger. and this time, its my father.
One Sunday, my father called me up and complaint that he felt always tired. Knowing my father who used to be a complainer and complaint the same thing when he was 40 plus, I didn't pay much attention to the same description by a 70 year old man. Then the following Tuesday, 26th April, my brother called me up and informed that father was admitted as he was almost fainted. I started to get worried. After that, doctor called me up and informed that my father was found to have Leukaemia! Although I heard it many times in my profession, its still shocking when someone close had it. As I informed my sister, I couldn't even finish my sentence but crying. Although our relationship with father used to be tensed, but in this juncture of time, all we had is daughters worried for father. As I saw my father at the emergency unit, I was even more sadden when I saw his frail body. No wonder he seemed to have lost so much of weight during my daughter's one year old dinner. Somehow I kept wanting to take family photo since chinese new year, but I never expected that's the last time we could have photo together.
My father was later admitted to the general ward, which he objected a lot. However, to ensure that he got a better care, we could only say that's doctors order and rejected his request to another 2 person ward with less experienced nurses. As the salt level was low, he appeared to be a bit disorientated, keep asking the maid to get the pant that was hanging somewhere, thinking that he was at home. For the first night, my younger brother spent the night there.